Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Has it already been a month?!

Yes, time flies by when you're having...fun? If you think stretch marks, flabbiness, stitches, and tears are...fun.

But, really, the first month that we have had Zachary in our home has been amazing! It feels like he has always been a part of our family. There wasn't really any "adjusting" to having two kids. Sure, I have to figure out a new daily routine, how to juggle two little ones who need both me and different things at the same time, and do all of this while properly managing our home. I'm not there 100% yet, but I'm on my way.
Everything I feared about having a second child hasn't come true: not being able to bond with Zac because I'm too busy with Anslie; not being able to be a good parent to Anslie because I'm too busy with the baby; not being a good wife to Kevin because I'm too busy with the kids; my house being a total wreck all the time because I can't keep up with life's demands; not having any time to myself to enjoy the other things I love, like blogging, photography, etc; most of all, not having a big enough heart to love everyone as much as they deserve.

If I had to sum Zac up in one word, it would be "precious." He still sleeps most of the day which has been great! And he follows a really nice rhythm of "sleep, eat, awake" so it has been really easy to anticipate and take care of his needs. On good nights, he's up only twice; not so good nights, three or four times. Fortunately for both of us I am an experienced nursing mother and can catch a few zzz's by nursing him while laying in bed. During the day he is on a 2 1/2 - 3 1/2 hour feeding schedule which allows enough time for me to get things done. Zachary is starting to become a little bit more alert so it's been fun to look into his deep blue eyes and try to get a smile out of him. And yes, I know that he is a little young for me to expect a meaningful response, but I SWEAR he has smiled in response to my baby talk at least twice in the last few days.
Anslie has been an absolute angel over the last week an a half and I have had more fun with her than I have had in a long time. She loves to carry her baby dolls around now more than ever and will often sit and "nurse" her babies right along side me. Soooo cute! Her vocabulary has exploded and she puts fulls paragraphs together. She is a little girl who knows just what she wants and now she is finally able to express exactly what that is in words.

Kevin is back at work but longs to be home with his two darling kids instead. He came home from work one day promising me to learn photography so that he could quit his job and we could be a photography power couple like Jasmine Star and her hubby. It made me laugh...maybe someday.... Kevin's a hard worker and a loving husband and father as always and he has been a major part in making the last month as enjoyable as it has been.

I feel like the biggest changes have come over me and my temperament. Life was rough after Anslie was born and most of that was due to my attitude. I chalk a lot of that up to wacky hormones, sleep deprivation, and maybe even a little postpartum depression. And it didn't help that Anslie was so sick and unhappy. It really took a toll on my marriage. My biggest fear of all about having another baby was having to go through that difficult time in my life all over again. Happily, I feel like Zac's presence has made me a little more patient, loving, and kind...mostly toward Kevin...and I can feel the love growing and abounding through my home. What a relief!

So, that's us in a nutshell...the Ruffner family is officially a family of four!


The Bowldens said...

omg! hes so stinkin adorable!!! his hair is so sweet and so cute. i just love seeing pictures of him!

SVB said...

Beautifully said Shillawna, I am so glad you are having an easier go of it this time around. Zac is beautiful!!!