Thursday, February 5, 2009

Blah, blah, blah

I don't really have anything in particular to say... Kevin is coming home tomorrow from a two week business trip. I am happy to have him back. The first week he was gone I enjoyed the extra freedom I had. I didn't have to stick to anyone else's schedule. I just did whatever I wanted. It was fun being able to accept any and all invitations to spend time with friends, etc. This week has been hard. I think I over-exerted myself last week, which made me want to be a hermit this week, which in turn made me feel Kevin's absence even more.

I am grateful for the one-on-one time with Anslie. Sometimes life gets in the way of your loved ones. I am really guilty of being selfish with my time and I spend way too much of it online or working on Photography instead of spending it with her. But, because I have been a single parent these last two weeks, I didn't have anyone else around to brush her off onto so that I could focus on something else. I think we have become closer and that is always a blessing. Anslie is such a doll and she is so funny. It's intoxicating to be around her and I have fallen even more in love with her, if that's even possible.

That being said, I will be grateful for relief. It's hard being a single parent and I couldn't imagine doing it if I had to work too. My husband is so wonderful for making it possible for me to stay home with my child.

I think what I missed most about Kevin while he was gone was having his arms available at any moment to wrap around me and keep me safe. I missed him the most when I saw my friends with their hubbies. I missed being kissed and hugged and having doors opened for me. I missed his company and having the constant support and encouragement that he provides. I missed having a partner in crime and my best friend.

I am also grateful that our relationship has matured enough that we can take time apart from each other. I remember just after we were married thinking that I never wanted to be the couple who walks into a crowded room and then goes separate ways to socialize with other people. I wanted to be joined at the hip at all times! But I now realize that when you deeply love someone and know they feel the same way about you, and when you know each other so well it's like looking into a mirror when you look at them, and when you have reached a point where there is a quiet confidence about your relationship, it doesn't matter where your spouse is. You're still joined at the hip, or rather the heart, even if the other person isn't around.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I love my husband deeply. I love my daughter deeply. I am blessed and I am more aware of my blessings after being deprived of some of them for a short time. I am one lucky gal.

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